How an ISTJ Knows They are in Love

The ISTJ knows they are in love because it is a decision they have come upon after much thought and consideration. They are not prone to the ‘lightning bolt from heaven’ or of someone sweeping them off their feet. When they weighed all of the pros and cons, they will decide if the potential partner is someone they love.

How an ISTJ Shows Love

Because they crave stability and security in relationships, they will offer these things to those they love. This often appears via performing daily tasks and providing for those they love. Their presence is also a present of sorts because being alone does not hold negative connotations. They may push beyond their comfort zone to attend social events or to express deeply felt (but not always visible) emotions to their significant other.

Love Language

Because ISTJs are realistic and practical, the best way to reach them is through words of affirmation. While they are not known for putting their emotions into words, they can blossom upon hearing their actions have meaning to those they love.

Does an ISTJ Fall in Love Easily

They fall in love just as they do most things, with thought, logic, and deliberation about the subject at hand. If interested in a person as a potential romantic partner, they will devote time and effort to learning all they can before deciding if pursuing a relationship is worth the time and effort.

How to Make an ISTJ Fall in Love

While no one can ‘make’ another person fall in love, there are some behaviors this personality finds more attractive than others

  • Understanding of the need for alone time
  • Displays of loyalty
  • Realizing gestures of care come from deeper emotions

How to Love Long Term

As relationships go, long-term is the only type of romantic relationship this personality type wants. Happy long-term relationships come from the ability to offer what they need without losing themselves.

  • Stability- an unpredictable partner is a significant source of stress
  • Honesty- Both the ability to give and receive candor is critical in this relationship
  • Acknowledgement- While your partner may not show up at your door with flowers, it is likely he will fill your gas tank. Both are expressions of love
  • Understanding- This personality type does experience deep emotions, but they are not comfortable expressing them. Do not insist on more than they can give if long-term happiness is the goal

Is an ISTJ Romantic?

Romance comes in different ways that with the more feeling based personality types. Partners should not expect poetry or large emotional displays but will have no shortage of necessary things. This type is often misunderstood as cold or detached when they are actually showing love in what they believe are practical and logical ways.

Is an ISTJ a Good Lover?

They will put a great deal of effort into pleasing their partner sexually and tend to want physical intimacy on a regular and predictable timetable. New, adventurous, or inventive things usually make them uncomfortable in the bedroom. Patience is the best practice.


ISTJs are protective of their time and energy. They will not expend either frivolously. Therefore, dating can be a bit tenuous for this personality type. Once they see the value in courtship, they will take part with the same determination they put towards anything viewed as worthwhile.

Dating Personality

When dating, as with most things, this personality type brings all of their organization, determination, and care to the party. While often misunderstood as cold or aloof, expressing feelings or participating in grand gestures is challenging even if strong emotions are present.

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